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Confessions of a heterosexual
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Confessions of a heterosexual

I have always been embarrassingly heterosexual.

I can’t help it, I just have no attraction whatsoever to men. I can appreciate a physically attractive man or a man with a charming wit and warm personality, but I have no desire to do anything beyond appreciate.

I think of this as a problem. Viewing Mimi’s pansexuality only makes things worse. Good grief, it is unfair. She is attracted to all people regardless of sex. Dudes, ladies, dykes, femmes, bois, transsexuals, pre-op, post-op, all of it! And I am only really attracted to women that resemble women.

The way I see it, I’m missing out on a whole lot of feeling and potential experience. It’s not like my sexual attraction to women is exponentially stronger than someone attracted to all sexes because I am only attracted to the one. It just means that I am missing out on all the others.

Let me post an exchange about porn star James Deen between Epiphora and Mimi from Twitter the other night as an illustration:

 

undressedreview @Epiphora Hes actually pretty attractive. Like, a lot.

Epiphora @undressedreview Hence looking for scenes with him in them and whichever semi-attractive chick I can find.

undressedreview @Epiphora I approve. Excellent idea. Im kind of turned off by a lot of guys in porn, but he is yes.

I looked at his pic and thought “That guy looks like he smells like weed.” I’m not saying that James Deen would necessarily do it for me, but NO GUY does it for me and it seems like a shame.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being anything other than heterosexual is easy in this society. Men being attracted to other men is no joking matter in mainstream America. Because of the closed way that men are taught to think about sexuality and the systematic vilification of homosexuality, being attracted to the same sex can make your life hell in this country. I understand this. So please don’t think that I envision those with wider sexual preferences than mine as living in a sex-crazed state of euphoria. I just think that being attracted to more would open more vistas to me.

Sure, I’ve tried to be attracted to men. I do it all the time. I look at people and I think “He’s a good-lookin guy…I could…do sex stuff with him…” My heart (wang) just isn’t in it. I think I probably could have sex with a man. I could become aroused by the experience alone and probably have a decent time…I just wouldn’t be enjoying it because of the man per se. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

My feelings about limited preference being detrimental are not limited to sexuality. I feel the same way about NASCAR, professional wrestling, country music, M.I.A., the artwork of Gustav Klimt, and eggplants.

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