Undressed Reviews
Guest Review: Under the Bed Restraint System (V and Z)

Guest Review: Under the Bed Restraint System (V and Z)

So, after months of pussy-footing around, we finally have our first Guest Reviewers ready to post. As you may have read in our Guest Reviewers section, we are inviting Average Joes and Janes to become periodical reviewers for our site in an attempt to expand the dialog that occurs here. They will be writing reviews for products they receive for review, products they already own, and products or tools they have created. If you are interested in doing this, you should read the Guest Reviewer section before sending us an email. Of course, all questions are welcome.

Now, onto our new GR’s – Vita and Zinaida! They were our winners from our What Are You Thankful For? Contest in which they won an Under The Bed Restraint System. After writing back to us about their experience, we decided they’d be perfect Guest Reviewers! You can find out more about them (and check out their sexy pictures) by clicking on their linked names above.


– Mimi & Joseph

Under the Bed Restraint System (its on SALE!) provided for review by Babeland


I have to admit, I’d been secretly wanting these for awhile. But they were always too expensive, and a college budget doesn’t leave much room for splurges, especially the kind that don’t involve McDonald’s and bookstores (it’s true, I’m an English major). Needless to say, having the Under the Bed Restraints delivered to my door near the end of finals week was about the greatest care package I’ve gotten during four years at school. Once school responsibilities were out of the way, we set up—or more accurately, Z set up—the restraints. My job was keeping the kitten away from the dangling strings.

Once set up (installed seems like too intense a word for the easy process), I got to be the guinea pig, which I have to admit is one of my favorite roles. We first had the restraints coming around the head and foot of the bed, but quickly realized that setup didn’t do much in the way of foot restraint. I could still move out to the side, in toward each other, and even slide my knees up a little. Z easily fixed that by putting the two lower restraints around the sides of the bed. That changed the whole dynamic for me; now my legs were pulled out to the sides with minimal chance of changing that. The feeling of vulnerability was a totally new sensation, and quickly erased the disappointment I’d had over the feet part of the restraints.

I wanted to take advantage of the fact that each cuff could unbuckle from the restraint, and Z didn’t really like the look of my hands up and out to my sides. We clipped both of the upper cuffs (though all four are interchangeable) to one restraint, and went for the classic arms over the head look. Both of us preferred this, though at the moment my feet were free and any pulling I did on the wrist restraints slid the entire system slightly; that would be easily fixed by feet counterbalancing the pull.

Z got sneaky and added a blindfold, which only made the entire experiment more fun. I loved the combination of restricted sight along with restricted movement. The restraint system was an easy setup and more than effective once we figured out how we wanted to use it; I think one of its great advantages is its customizability. It’s now resting under the bed with the cuffs and straps tucked in, away from the kitten and visitors, and I have no doubt that it will be pulled back out quite consistently from here on out.


When we got the Under the Bed Restraint System, I must say I was a little surprised by the size of the box it came in (hence the picture). I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I figured it would either be heftier or take up a lot more room.

Well, after trying this baby out, I can say that it doesn’t need heft to do the job.
I love putting things together and attaching pieces to other pieces, so I have to say that the building nerd in me was a little disappointed that it came all in one piece—no assembly required. That did, however, make it easier to quickly set up (and quickly try out). The only thing I needed to do was adjust the size of the middle connector strap so that it wasn’t too long for the length of the bed.

That is one of the great things about this system. Everything is adjustable: the connector strap in the middle, each of the four straps that go to the cuffs, and the cuffs themselves. If you ever carried a backpack and noticed how those straps adjust, this is the exactly the same (although the cuffs adjust by Velcro).

Everything in this system is black, and all the hardware is silver. All in all, it’s a rather classy piece to have lurking between your mattress and box spring.

Aesthetically, the one drawback is that the cuffs are made out of a type of felt material—not exactly hardcore when viewed up close, but V loved the way they felt. However, because everything is detachable, your own cuffs could be added with no problem. Functionally, the drawback is that if all four cuffs aren’t cuffed to something (say just her hands are, but her feet are free), then it was easy for her to shift the entire system by pulling.

Great things about this system: The coolness factor – I mean, seriously. This thing is pretty badass. The customizability – As V said, this system can morph and fit the need for a lot of different uses. And the storage – as long as I’m near the bed, it’s always close. The best part is I don’t have to put it away when we’re done with it. Huzzah!

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★½

Functionality: ★★★★½

Craftsmanship: ★★★★★

Ease of installation: ★★★★★

Discretion: ★★★★★

Safety: ★★★★★

Overall: ★★★★★