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Tenga Lip Service

Tenga Lip Service

Masturbation sleeves: they’re those ridiculous-looking tubes that, as a man, I’m a bit wary of sticking myself inside of. Sure they might take up an entire shelf at your local sex store, but do I really want to put my dick inside of a flashlight? How about an ultra-realistic looking set of disembodied hips or a strange, day-glo cylinder made out of materials with names right out of a science fiction novel? Call me a old fashioned, but sometimes a hand just feels more familiar. With this in mind, I was a bit wary upon seeing the “Tenga Lip Service” for the first time.

On one hand, it’s a masturbation sleeve. This means that I’ll inevitably be placing my manhood in the rubbery grasp of the cold and unnatural. But, on the other hand, this one had some promise. First, it was engineered and created in Japan, the same adult novelty culture that gave us tentacle porn and that strange stuff that turns water into goo; they know their stuff. Second, the “cup” was severely lacking any of the ridiculousness which inspired my original fear of masturbation sleeves, this one looked more like a fancy bottle of body wash or conditioner I had a greater risk of being labeled as having expensive tastes than being a pervert. But, sophisticated grooming products aside, I was genuinely excited to try out the “Lip Service” (also known as the Deep Throat Cup) and put it through its paces. Before we get to that however, I should explain a bit about the Tenga in the first place.

Engineered in Japan by a former mechanic, the Lip Service comprises only one of a growing number of pre-packaged, “onacups” with names like “Rolling-head Cup” and “Soft Tube Cup” which, as you may have inferred, offer different types of stimulations. In particular, the Lip Service offers a unique method of suction that utilizes a small hole in one end of the cup to create a vacuum around the soft, jelly sleeve inside. Basically, you stick yourself in the cup to push the air around the sleeve out of the hole. Then, while covering the hole, you withdraw your penis from the cup and the thin jelly material hugs the skin close while providing suction. Pretty cool, right?

I’d have to see if it delivered on its promise.

Did it ever.

Removing the Lip Service (which I’ll just refer to as LS from now on,) from its package, unwrapping the protective covering and uncapping the business end of the diminutive cup, I was greeted with this:

A seemingly endless abyss of white jelly lay before me, coated in thick, slippery lube. I felt loved, knowing that there was a machine somewhere making sure that I didn’t have to lube up my LS before having at it. Taking a gulp, I inched myself into the LS, taking in the sensations as I heard a loud flatulating noise resonate around my penis. What had I done? Had I upset the Tenga somehow? Was I being punished by the masturbation gods for using such a plain looking masturbation sleeve? No, I just hadn’t removed the sticker on top! Right then, take two.

(Yeah, you’re going to want to take that sticker off before getting down to business.)

Sliding in again, a soft “pssht” sound replaced the earlier noise of the blocked hole and I could feel the material pushing against my penis. Now, I’m not a large guy by any means, but I could easily fill the LS with my overwhelming average-ness. Fear not however, they make larger versions for the XL guys out there. For me however, the normal Tenga did just fine and, placing my fingers over the little hole at the other end of the LS, I began to pump away. An astounding 30 seconds later, I collapsed on my bed in the throes of La Petite Mort, toes still curled from the experience.

Thirty seconds. Seriously.

Maybe it was the inhuman geometry of the inner sleeve that did it, perhaps it was the sucking sensation that drew the little ridges tight against my cock whenever I slipped out, but I have never climaxed so quickly in my life. In this respect, I’d give the Lip Service seven thumbs up if I could. The suction works and it works well, as evidenced by the very audible “slurp” that accompanied every thrust. That’s right, it slurps. Tenga claims that this adds to the realistic blowjob ambiance, but it can certainly be a detractor if you’re looking to be discreet about it. Luckily, it also makes a great aid without the suction, as evidenced by several longer follow-up tests over the course of the next week… Often several at a time.

As for whether or not it actually feels like a blowjob, that’s a tricky one. The different bumps and stimulation-enhancing bits on the inside certainly stimulate as much as a human mouth, perhaps even more in my case, but after a while you begin to notice the very real lack of life in the little plastic widget quickly engulfing your manhood. As a fan of blowjobs and the Tenga both, I’d have to say that in a pinch, the LS will more than do the job.

Any product that produces results this pleasurable wouldn’t be without its little niggles though, right? You’re correct! The LS does have a small list of issues, both large and small. First, the entire Tenga line is disposable. In that, you throw it out after one use. Like a one night stand, but… plastic. It’s possible to wash the Tenga with a bit of water and antibacterial soap, but the company doesn’t recommend it and neither do I. If you follow the recommendations of the company and dispose of your Tenga after you use it, you’re looking at around 15 bucks each time you’re feeling a bit randy. Now, I haven’t tried sticking my dick in caviar or saffron, but 15.00 to insert yourself into something plastic for a few minutes and then throw away? It seems like a waste of money to me, and that’s where Tenga failed to win me over completely. Perhaps Tenga’s reusable onahole, the Flip-Hole, would be a better choice for the budget-conscious masturbator. As for the disposal itself, the Tenga is completely recyclable, so it’s entirely possible to get yer jollies and freak out the guys at the recycling center at the same time. Woo!

Second, the noise can get quite loud at times—fine if you live alone, not so fine if you don’t. Finally, I found that the sensations delivered by the LS depended more on my arousal. When I wasn’t particularly horny, the sensations felt a little bland and lifeless, although it still did the job. When I was really horny however? It was as if every inch of my cock could feel what was happening. Bland rubbery “hole” or uber-engineered orgasm extracting device, you’re likely to fall somewhere between the two sentiments.

In closing, the Tenga can be likened to a gourmet meal on plastic tableware: perfectly prepared and ultimately satisfying, but also cheap and utterly disposable.

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Sex in the Shower Suction Hand Cuffs

Sex in the Shower Suction Hand Cuffs

Joseph

The hand cuffs are one of the more simply designed products that we’ve reviewed. But that doesn’t keep them from being great!

Essentially they are soft Velcro cuffs attached to heavy duty suction cups. Sex in the Shower is a division of Sportsheets so for anyone that has tried the Under the Bed Restraint System, these cuffs will feel very familiar. Soft but not padded and firm but not uncomfortable, the cuffs are just right for feeling confined without getting hurt. Depending on how you feel about power play, that can be good or bad.

The suction cups are extremely powerful and will stay on the wall through the roughest of play. They do, however slide around a little bit. Not enough that it was a problem for us, but if one of your vibrators makes you squirm, you may find it annoying.

The beautiful thing about a product like this is that the possible uses for it are nearly limitless. The cuffs are independent of one another and will stick to almost any flat surface. For the bath of course, but also car windows, desktops, mirrors, etc

Dont worry, her head is above water. At this moment

Mimi

Handcuffs!

I had mixed feelings about this product. Sure, I love my Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, but Im skeptical of suction cups being able to handle rough, raucous, raunchy sex. Maybe its because the suction cup (not) holding my razor in place is a piece of shit that falls off the wall all the time.

Not the case here! We really tugged hard on them and they stayed stuck to the wall. Standing or bathing, they are quite useful for some bondage play. And the bound individual/slave/submissive/etc. can fairly easily let his or herself out, so theres not really any risk of drowning. (Heh. For some of you, that might be a turn-off.)

There isnt really much more to say. Like the Under the Bed Restraint System, its a very simple product that performs exactly the way its meant to perform. Hurray for effective design!

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Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy

Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy

Joseph

Ive reached a point in my relationship with pipedream products where I really only expect to be amused by how poorly thought out and cheaply made they are. I admit that sometimes I obtain them just so I can have fun with the review. You know you love reading scathing reviews of terrible products. I love writing them, too. However, I was surprised by this product. Though the box art is still totally silly and they threw in that damn blindfold that comes with everything in the Fetish Fantasy Series. Because the more into BDSM you are the more identical cheap blindfolds (they call it a love mask) you need?

The Shock Therapy is a set that includes four gel adhesive pads, a bi-polar lead wire, and a digital power control unit. The use of the product is exactly what you would think from that list of parts: You attach the lead wire to the pads, the pads to a person, and then a small shock is delivered in the location of the pads. Unless there is any hair where you want the shock to be delivered. Of course the pads need to be directly attached to skin.

The pads themselves are reusable though the gel gets more tacky and less sticky over time and you cannot clean them so if you use this toy often you will need to buy replacement pads. Thats not really a big deal if you want to stick to non-genital shocking but if you apply these directly to an anus or vagina they should probably be replaced. Another accessory offered is the Electro-Sex Gel which will make the shocks more intense. Though so will any water-based lube.

The apparatus requires two AAA batteries (not included) and has some fairly obvious safety warnings. For instance, you should not use this product while operating heavy machinery, while pregnant, or if you have a pacemaker. There are several more listed on the instruction page (external use only!) but using common sense will pretty much cover it.

It actually works pretty well for what it is. Dont get me wrong, you can still tell that this product is very cheaply made but unlike some of pipedreams other products it is at least usable. There are three modes that you can switch between as well as a speed and intensity options that you can control. The modes are tap, modulation, and kneading. The tap is basically a throbbing sensation, the modulation feels like it is a random shift between the other two modes and the kneading mode is continuous and intense. It is nice to have the three modes to shift between and the shock of the device ranges from barely felt to almost too much to handle.

Switching between modes, speed, and power are all fairly easy and occur with the simple click of one of the buttons on the digital controller. Unfortunately if you dont have the instructions in front of you the display is not that useful. The speed and power bars are easy enough to understand but the mode indicators and intensity state indicators dont make a lot of sense.

Mimi

Having never used a product like this before, I was a bit nervous to try it out. Especially tied to a chair in our living room. The tension and anticipation is, of course, quite titillating. It may be the best part this product has to offer.

Not that Im trying to imply there arent other great parts.

Joseph placed the gel adhesive pads first on my butt and the backs of my thighs. The sensation didnt hurt at any point in time, but it was quite intense to experience. He started gently, since weve never done this before. I would highly recommend testing it out similarly. Though this product did not cause me any pain or serious discomfort, I wouldnt be surprised if someone elses reaction was much more distressed. Besides, its fun to know that the shocks will become more intense. Take it slow, build it up.

The three modes feels exactly how they sound tap, modulation, and kneading. I found all three to be pleasing, though the tapping was a bit grating when prolonged. After going through the various levels of speed, intensity, and modes, I wanted to experience more and I suspected that this desire would be satisfied by the pads being placed on my nipples and my pelvis. I asked (as nicely as I could), if Joseph would do that next. He said he had already planned to, though apparently not without some spanking. I mention this for my BDSM-inclined readers out there, who can probably guess that spanking combined either before or after with electric shock produces extra sensitivity and pleasure.

After he moved the pads and began the same process as before, I was no longer capable of keeping up with what he was doing. I remember feeling almost totally overwhelmed by sensation. Obviously, I hope to do it again soon. Tied up in another compromising position.

Other than my internally confused reaction to it being called Shock Therapy: Electro-Sex Kit, which can at best be described as aroused and horrified at the recollection of Nurse Ratched, I really have no issues with this product. Oh, I wish that it would re-charge instead of using batteries. I wont get into the packaging because thats not going to change anytime soon. Its a good product.

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Ode to a Legend The Hitachi Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the first sex toy that I ever encountered. I saw it while my wife (then girlfriend) was getting a condom from her “toy box” and was terrified.

“That thing is freaking huge! She puts that inside of her!?! Holy shit. How am I supposed to satisfy someone used to that monstrosity?”

In case it’s not obvious, I was much less educated about sex toys than I am now. Over the years I have come to have a great respect and appreciation for the Hitachi Magic Wand. Speaking of years, it is worth noting that my wife has been using the same Magic Wand for the past 6 years. That’s quality craftsmanship.

Hitachi introduced the Magic Wand to the market in the 1970’s as a personal massager for soothing sore muscles and tendons. It vibrates at a maximum of 6,000 rpm and delivers these vibrations via a 2.5” rubberized head. Though it is certainly powerful enough to be used as a muscle massager, it is indisputably a sex toy. An iconic, legendary sex toy. Popular since its inception, the Magic Wand (commonly referred to as the “Hitachi”) was propelled to fame when Betty Dodson, a pioneer in sex education and pro-sex feminism, wrote and talked about it during the course of her career.

The Hitachi Magic Wand’s stint in the public eye did not end with Betty, though. It has been featured in many popular media venues like Sex and the City. It is also one of the most widely accessible sex toys on the market. You can buy one everywhere, from high quality sex toy stores like Babeland to crappy, shady little sex toy stores in the Bible Belt of America. Walmart and American Apparel even carry them on their websites.

Though primarily used by women, it can also be rather pleasing for men to use. The same deep, powerful, and well-dispersed vibration that makes it earth-shattering for women also feels great for men. Placed along the shaft or against the head (on low for me, thanks) can be quite fun. If you’re into anal play, you can also use it to vibrate a plug.

Surprisingly, to my knowledge there have not been any sonnets or love songs written to or about the Hitachi Magic Wand. Yet.

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G Curve Dildo

G Curve Dildo

Mimi
We received the G Curve months ago, after I saw several other reviews for it and thought it looked promising, despite the fact that I typically prefer dildoes made of hard materials. A few immediate things going for it:

1. It’s made of silicone.
2. It’s a dildo curved for g-spot stimulation.
3. It has a wide base so it could be used anally or in a strap-on.
4. It’s a wonderful shade of purple.

Still, it took us awhile to start using it. When a dildo of some kind was needed, I went for my spaceship. The first time we used it, I was not particularly impressed with it. It stayed in the drawer longer, unused. Finally, as the necessity for a review approached, we started using it more and it has grown on me as I’ve learned more about it.

As with most sex toys, the G Curve offers a particular sensation. The g-spot stimulation I experience with the G Curve is not pointed and intense, as it would be with a finger or a slender, bulbous ended toy, but rather a general (well-directed) pressure. The G Curve offers a sensation of unstrained fullness, and when my body is mid-orgasm, clenching around this smooth silicone toy, I definitely feel like there is something there to grasp.

Aesthetically speaking, the toy is really attractively designed. The dark, metallic purple silicone makes this one of the more sensual-looking dildos I’ve ever seen.

Unfortunately, I have not tried this toy in a strap-on. We are not quite there yet. When we are ready to review this product in that capacity, we’ll happily expand this review.

Joseph

This thing is freaking pretty. As Mimi said, it is a sensual shade of purple but what she didnt tell you (and the pictures may not portray) is that is has elegant marbling throughout it as well.

It measures in at 5.5 x 1.5 and is rather easy to use on Mimi as well because of the large base and the soft yet sturdy silicone construction. Of course, as with all silicone products, clean up is as easy as makin pasta, though I dont recommend throwing it at the wall to see if it is done.

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The iGino One

The iGino One

Mimi

As anyone that has read other reviews of vibrators on this blog knows already, my body appreciates a pretty limited range of vibrators. This isn’t something I’m proud of, it’s just a fact. Whenever I’m given a vibrator to review, I feel a bit guilty anticipating a less than shining review, which is not necessarily the fault of the product. We’re just not compatible (although sometimes the vibrators totally suck).

 

iGino One really surprised me. It’s small, compact, precise, and resembles an iPod. Typically vibrators that meet that description don’t work too well for me because they’re not powerful enough or they’re too hard to hold in place during sex. With the iGino One, not only did the sensation feel good both alone and during sex, but I had an orgasm! Every time! The specificity and intensity of the vibrator tip can still be a bit awkward to control, especially if you use lube during sex. That said, in my experience using it thus far, it gets easier with practice. There are no settings, just an on or off switch located on the side, so you’re unlikely to accidentally turn it off or mess up your settings during use.

For people who find the vibrator too powerful and lament not having any options for intensity, iGino One includes a clover-shaped EVA foam add-on to ease the sensation. This also disperses the vibration to a slightly wide range if you’re finding it too pointed.

The novelty of covertly carrying a vibrator in my purse is also not lost on me. When you often use a vibrator that could bludgeon someone to death, it’s not exactly easy to bring it with you on vacation, booty calls, or random semi-public sexcapades. And it’s not just that the iGino One is small, I’ve got other great, relatively small vibrators, like the Lelo Gigi. Part of what makes the iGino One design special is that if someone happens to see it in your purse, in your suitcase, on your night stand, etc. they’ll probably just assume it’s an iPod, smart phone, or digital camera.

I wouldn’t want it to be the only vibrator that I own, but it has definitely earned a special position in my small circle of vibrators.

Joseph

The iGino-one is an impressively innovative sex toy produced by an independent firm. On its face, there is nothing terribly remarkable about this vibrator. It is a small plastic vibrator with a rechargeable battery. However, upon getting familiar with it, I became more and more impressed.

First off, its form is very well thought out. Rather than be vaguely phallic shaped and therefore hard to explain if someone were to find it, it is a rectangular shape roughly the size of a deck of playing cards – or a smartphone. That shape is totally inconspicuous in a pocket or purse.

Also because it is flat it can theoretically be laid flat in-between the body of you and your lover. We have not been able to make that work because it is too hard to keep it in place since the vibrating head is fairly small. Just because we couldn’t make that work doesn’t mean it can’t work.

The intensity that this little rectangle puts out is pretty astounding. It is akin to a smaller Hitachi. In fact, if the Hitachi were a superhero (and let’s be honest, it kind of is), the iGino would be its portable sidekick. It also seems like it would be the one to make all the snarky comments.

The charger is usb and swivels out of the base of the iGino which is nice because it means you can charge it basically anywhere and you don’t have to worry about remembering to bring the cable, though it does come with a cable if that’s more your speed. According to the documentation that came with it, an 8 hour charge will power the IGino for “a full session” but that a full charge (good for 40 minutes of continual use) takes 12 hours. I doubt you will need to use it for 40 minutes continuously, though – it is very intense.

The charger also holds my one and only complaint with this product, and it is a small one. When you plug it in, a blue light glows from the base of the usb arm. That would be cool if it indicated to you that it was charging and went off when it was done charging, but it doesn’t. It just glows. Forever.

Aside from that one nit-picky complaint, I love this vibrator. I love how powerful and portable it is and I love that it gets my wife off without fail.